Sounds right!
Sound-Based Protocols for ease After Betrayal: The Science, Potential Benefits, and Differences From EMDR
By Angela Spearman at AfterBetrayal.org
Understanding the Body’s Response to Betrayal
Betrayal can have consequences that extend beyond thoughts and emotions. For some individuals, the experience is accompanied by persistent physical tension, heightened alertness, difficulty relaxing, sleep disruption, or a sense of unease that continues even when no immediate threat is present.
When a person has experienced a significant breach of trust, reminders of the experience may continue to activate distress even when the original event has ended.
Managing these responses can involve several complementary approaches, including psychotherapy, behavioral strategies, relaxation training, and structured auditory interventions.
One emerging area of interest is the use of carefully designed sound protocols, including audio that incorporates specific frequency relationships, to support relaxation and potentially reduce subjective anxiety.
Although this approach is not a substitute for trauma-focused treatment, research suggests that certain forms of auditory stimulation may offer a useful additional tool for managing anxiety.
The Science Behind Sound, Attention, and Relaxation
The HyperFocus article, The Science Behind Focus, provides an accessible overview of how sound environments can influence attention and how researchers categorize brain activity into commonly discussed frequency bands.
The article describes delta, theta, alpha, beta, and gamma activity, associating these bands with different patterns of sleep, relaxation, attention, and cognitive processing. It also discusses binaural beats, sound masking, and the potential value of maintaining a consistent auditory environment.
These concepts provide a useful starting point for understanding sound-based protocols. However, it is important to distinguish between established findings about brain activity, hypotheses about how auditory stimulation may influence mental states, and claims about the effectiveness of a specific intervention.
1. Brainwave frequencies and mental states
When utilizing 'neurofeedback' treatments, you are 'training' the brainwaves to more readily return to certain patterns. Electroencephalography (EEG) research commonly describes brain activity using frequency bands. These are conventionally categorized as delta (approximately 0.5–4 Hz), theta (4–8 Hz), alpha (8–12 Hz), beta (approximately 13–30 Hz), and gamma (often 30 Hz and above).
Different frequency patterns are associated with different cognitive and physiological conditions. For example, alpha activity is often observed during relaxed wakefulness, while theta activity occurs in several contexts involving drowsiness, memory, and cognitive processing.
These associations do not mean that a particular frequency produces a single, predictable mental state. Brain activity is complex, and frequency bands can overlap across different tasks and conditions. Additionally, neurofeedback requires consistent treatment sessions (usually 2-3 times per week for 30-60 minutes uninterrupted) which, when done in a clinic, cost approximately $150 USD per treatment and the minimum length of treatment before measurable changes can be detected is 4-6 months. If you do the minimum of 2 treatments per week for 4 months, that leaves you with a $4,800 bill to pay! And since brainwaves are trainable, this means the progress will not self-maintain. You must continue training at a reduced frequency for life.
This leads many professionals to explore sound frequencies rather than brainwave training - as sounds can be generated at almost no cost with little to no investment in hardware. But it is also important to distinguish between the frequency of an audible tone and the frequency of electrical activity measured in the brain. They are not interchangeable. Nevertheless, research into auditory stimulation has investigated whether certain sound patterns can influence attention, subjective relaxation, and anxiety.
2. Binaural beats and auditory stimulation
Binaural beats occur when two tones of slightly different frequencies are presented separately to the two ears, typically through stereo headphones. The listener perceives a rhythmic fluctuation corresponding to the difference between the tones.
For example, presenting a 200 Hz tone to one ear and a 206 Hz tone to the other can produce the perception of a 6 Hz binaural beat.
Researchers have investigated whether exposure to these perceived beats can influence attention, anxiety, pain perception, and other outcomes.
A meta-analysis by Garcia-Argibay, Santed, and Reales (2019), published in Psychological Research, examined 22 studies comprising 35 effect sizes. The authors reported an overall statistically significant, medium-sized effect across the outcomes studied, which included cognition, anxiety, and pain perception.
The authors also found that outcomes varied according to factors such as the frequency used, duration of exposure, and timing of the intervention.
This research provides a scientific basis for further investigating binaural beats as a possible tool for anxiety management. However, the overall effect across multiple outcomes should not be interpreted as proof that every binaural-beat protocol reduces anxiety. Nor does it establish that a particular frequency is optimal for people recovering from betrayal.
Reference: Garcia-Argibay, M., Santed, M. A., & Reales, J. M. (2019). Efficacy of binaural auditory beats in cognition, anxiety, and pain perception: A meta-analysis. Psychological Research, 83, 357–372. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00426-018-1066-8
3. Why a structured listening environment may matter
Frequency selection is only one potential component of a sound-based intervention.
The HyperFocus article also highlights consistent sound, reduced environmental distractions, and longer listening sessions as elements of its approach to supporting focus. These design principles may be relevant to relaxation protocols as well, although their effects should not be assumed to be identical across different goals.
A predictable auditory environment may help some individuals direct their attention away from competing environmental stimuli. It may also provide a consistent cue for pausing, settling into a routine, and practicing relaxation.
These effects do not necessarily require a specific brainwave response. They may involve attention, expectation, learned associations, the subjective experience of the sound, and changes in the listener's immediate environment.
A systematic review of randomized trials examining binaural beats for nonclinical stress management found promising but mixed results. Some studies reported improvements, while others did not find significant benefits. The review also identified substantial variation in study methods and intervention protocols.
Reference: Is non-clinical, personal use of binaural beats audio an effective stress-management strategy? A systematic review of randomised control trials. (2024). https://doi.org/10.1080/18387357.2024.2374759
The practical implication is that structured auditory protocols are worth investigating, but their effects should be assessed rather than presumed.
How Developed Listening Protocols May Help With Emotions After Betrayal
A developed listening protocol is more than a single audio track. It can be designed as a repeatable practice with a defined purpose, duration, sound environment, and method for evaluating the listener's response.
For individuals experiencing anxiety after betrayal, the intended purpose may be to create an opportunity for temporary relief from physical and psychological anxiousness.
A protocol might incorporate a consistent auditory environment, carefully selected sound characteristics, and a period set aside for listening without multitasking, OR with gentle movement like yoga. Depending on the intervention, it may also include guided relaxation or instructions to observe bodily sensations without immediately reacting to them. Several potential pathways deserve consideration and experimentation.
NOTE from Angela: How and why I like to utilize sound frequencies in my own life -
Attentional redirection. Listening may provide an alternative focus for attention, reducing the degree to which attention remains fixed on worry, intrusive thoughts, or environmental monitoring.
A predictable relaxation routine. Repeated use in a comfortable setting may help establish an association between the listening routine and a period of rest or reduced demands.
A change in subjective arousal. Some listeners may experience less tension, greater calm, or reduced subjective anxiety during or after a session. Research on binaural beats provides preliminary support for investigating this possibility, although responses vary.
An opportunity to practice tolerating bodily sensations. When used appropriately, a listening session may offer an opportunity to notice tension or uneasiness without treating every sensation as evidence of immediate danger. This is a behavioral practice rather than a proven frequency-specific effect.
(I'll share a link to a listening protocol I like which you can find for FREE on YouTube in the resources at the end of this article.)
These potential benefits should be understood as complementary to broader recovery efforts. Listening to audio does not establish that a person has processed a traumatic experience, resolved the consequences of betrayal, or changed an underlying pattern of threat perception.
The purpose is more modest: to investigate whether a structured, repeatable auditory practice can help an individual manage periods of anxiety and make other recovery and healing activities more accessible.
Why Anxiety After Betrayal Can Feel Physical
Following betrayal, some individuals find that their bodies remain tense or alert even when they intellectually understand that a particular situation is not dangerous.
This distinction between intellectual understanding and bodily experience is clinically important. Recognizing that an event has ended does not automatically eliminate learned emotional responses, anticipatory anxiety, or physiological arousal.
When distress occurs, attention may become concentrated on possible signs of another betrayal. Ambiguous situations may be interpreted as threatening, and ordinary bodily sensations may be experienced as evidence that something is wrong.
Over time, this can contribute to a cycle in which monitoring for danger sustains anxiety.
Relaxation practices and auditory interventions may provide temporary relief for some people, creating an opportunity to engage in other strategies for recovery. These might include psychotherapy, identifying unhelpful interpretations, strengthening boundaries, rebuilding self-trust, and learning to respond differently to uncertainty.
Importantly, these observations should not be used to imply that all vigilance is irrational or that a person experiencing betrayal-related anxiety is necessarily responding to a false alarm. In situations involving ongoing abuse, coercion, or genuine danger, appropriate protection and safety planning take priority.
How Sound-Based Protocols Differ From EMDR
Sound-based listening protocols and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) may both involve auditory stimuli, but they have different purposes, procedures, and levels of clinical evidence. EMDR is an established, structured, trauma-focused psychotherapy. It is recommended in major clinical practice guidelines for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
A sound-based relaxation protocol, by contrast, is generally intended to support relaxation, attention, or short-term anxiety management. Unless it is part of a separately validated therapeutic intervention, it should not be described as a trauma-processing treatment.
EMDR: A structured approach to trauma processing
EMDR uses a phased treatment approach that includes history-taking, preparation, identification of target memories, processing, and evaluation of outcomes.
During the processing phases, the client briefly focuses on a distressing memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation, commonly through guided eye movements. Alternating taps or tones may be used as alternatives when appropriate.
The treatment is intended to reduce the distress associated with traumatic memories and help the person develop more adaptive responses to those experiences.
Although EMDR is supported by substantial clinical evidence for PTSD, researchers continue to investigate precisely how its various components work. The role of bilateral stimulation, in particular, remains an area of scientific inquiry.
Reference: U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing for PTSD. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/txessentials/emdr_pro.asp
Sound-based protocols: An opportunity for regulation and relaxation
I first discovered the effects of sound frequencies in a professional conference presentation by Dr. Stephen Porges, the neuroscientist who developed the Polyvagal Theory. He and a team of researchers have developed the Safe and Sound Protocol and other programs which vibrate a particular muscle in the ear to send signals of 'safety' to the 'nervous system.' After training in the program and offering it to clients for 2 years, I gained an appreciation for the power it held to interact with the autonomic nervous system which regulates heart rate, blood pressure and many other systems in the body necessary for healthy functioning. He and his team have even developed programs for children with developmental challenges which target brain processing development progress.
One benefit of a sound-based protocol designed for anxiety relief and other purposes, is that it does not necessarily require the listener to recall a traumatic event, identify a target memory, or engage in trauma processing.
Instead, the listener follows a defined audio routine intended to provide a consistent auditory experience and, potentially, alter subjective anxiety and other biological mechanisms. The intervention may use binaural beats or other sound characteristics, depending on how it is designed. It may be used independently as a relaxation practice or alongside professional care.
The key distinction is that the intended outcome of a relaxation-oriented audio protocol is not the same as the intended outcome of EMDR.
A person may feel calmer after listening to an audio track without experiencing a lasting reduction in the distress associated with a particular memory. Conversely, trauma-focused psychotherapy may involve processing distressing material rather than simply reducing arousal during a session.
The two approaches should therefore not be treated as interchangeable.
A practical comparison
Feature | Sound-based listening protocol | EMDR |
Primary purpose | Support relaxation, attention, or short-term anxiety management | Process distressing memories and reduce trauma-related symptoms |
Typical format | A structured audio session, sometimes used independently | A structured psychotherapy delivered by a trained clinician |
Use of sound | May include binaural beats or other auditory features | May include alternating tones as one form of bilateral stimulation |
Focus on traumatic memories | Not necessarily required | Central to the memory-processing phases |
Evidence base | Promising but mixed research on binaural beats and anxiety; protocol-specific evidence varies | Substantial clinical evidence supporting EMDR for PTSD |
Appropriate role | Potential adjunct to recovery and self-management | Evidence-based treatment option for PTSD |
The distinction is not simply that one approach uses sound and the other uses eye movements. EMDR is a comprehensive psychotherapy, whereas an audio protocol is defined by its specific listening procedures and intended outcomes.
An audio protocol should not be represented as equivalent to EMDR merely because it incorporates tones, rhythmic sounds, or particular frequencies.
How to Use Listening Protocols Responsibly
For people considering sound-based protocols as part of recovery after betrayal, a measured approach is appropriate. And each person's nervous system will have different needs. If at any point you feel nausea or discomfort, you have exceeded the maximum benefit and listening should stop.
NOTE: The goal is to experience comfort, so if the listening causes discomfort, you are no longer benefitting. Periodically conduct a body scan to assess whether you are feeling relaxed/focused, or if you are feeling uncomfortable. If you perceive any discomfort, stop the session and start again at another time.
Begin with a clear purpose. Determine whether the goal is to reduce immediate anxiety, create a period of relaxation, support a bedtime routine, or improve the ability to concentrate. Different goals may require different strategies.
Evaluate the actual response. Individuals can rate their anxiety or physical tension before and after listening. Repeated observations may help establish whether a particular protocol is useful for them, rather than relying on assumptions about a frequency's intended effect.
Use comfortable volume levels. Listening should not cause discomfort, headaches, dizziness, or increased distress. Over-the-ear headphones are generally needed to perceive binaural beats as intended, but other forms of auditory relaxation do not necessarily require headphones. The volume should be low enough that you can hear yourself breathing and easily carry a conversation with someone- barely perceptible.
Avoid treating a frequency label as a clinical guarantee. A track described as alpha, theta, or another frequency category does not automatically produce that brainwave state or a predictable therapeutic outcome.
Integrate the practice with appropriate care. Persistent anxiety, significant sleep disruption, intrusive memories, or symptoms consistent with PTSD may warrant assessment and treatment from a qualified mental health professional. Audio-based practices should complement rather than delay appropriate care.
People who find auditory stimulation uncomfortable or distressing should discontinue it. Those with significant sound sensitivity or other relevant medical concerns may benefit from discussing its use with a healthcare professional.
What Further Research Is Needed?
The research on auditory stimulation raises several important questions.
First, researchers need to determine which sound characteristics, if any, produce reliable benefits for particular outcomes. Binaural beats, ordinary music, white or pink noise, and other auditory interventions should not be assumed to work through identical mechanisms.
Second, studies need to distinguish immediate changes in subjective anxiety from sustained improvements in functioning or trauma-related symptoms.
Third, more research is needed to evaluate complete listening protocols, including their duration, frequency of use, target populations, and potential role alongside established treatments.
Finally, studies specifically involving people recovering from betrayal or interpersonal trauma could help clarify whether the findings from other populations apply to this group.
Evidence that an intervention reduces anxiety in one setting does not automatically establish its effectiveness for betrayal-related distress in every setting. That question requires direct investigation, experimentation, and professional guidance.
Conclusion
Sound-based listening protocols represent an accessible, noninvasive approach to supporting relaxation and managing periods of anxiety. Research on binaural beats and other forms of auditory stimulation provides a scientific rationale for continued investigation, although findings remain mixed and the optimal characteristics of an effective protocol are not established.
For individuals recovering from betrayal, the potential value of these protocols lies in their possible role as one component of a broader approach to recovery. They may help some people establish a predictable period of rest, redirect attention, or experience temporary relief from subjective anxiety.
Their role should remain clearly distinguished from trauma-focused psychotherapy. EMDR is a structured treatment with established evidence for PTSD; while a relaxation-oriented audio protocol has a different purpose and should not be presented as a replacement for it.
At AfterBetrayal.org, a scientifically responsible approach means recognizing both the potential and the limitations of emerging interventions. The goal is to help people make informed decisions about tools that may support their recovery while maintaining clear distinctions between preliminary findings, established clinical treatments, and questions that remain unanswered.
References
HyperFocus. (n.d.). The Science Behind Focus. https://hyperfocuschannel.com/science-behind-focus.html
Garcia-Argibay, M., Santed, M. A., & Reales, J. M. (2019). Efficacy of binaural auditory beats in cognition, anxiety, and pain perception: A meta-analysis. Psychological Research, 83, 357–372. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00426-018-1066-8
Is non-clinical, personal use of binaural beats audio an effective stress-management strategy? A systematic review of randomised control trials. (2024). https://doi.org/10.1080/18387357.2024.2374759
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing for PTSD. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/txessentials/emdr_pro.asp
The Safe and Sound Protocol by Dr. Stephen Porges-
a FREE protocol I like to use with over-the-ear headphones on low volume:
Editorial note: This article is educational and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health advice. Claims about any specific listening protocol should be limited to outcomes supported by research on that protocol.
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